Spotting the ACTUALLY Famous: Oscar Edition.

"All that you will see is a celebrity.
When I'm riding in my limo, I won't look out the window.
There's nowhere that I can't go, and there's no one that I don't know."
- Barenaked Ladies, "Celebrity"

I never saw myself as the type of person to be enthralled with meeting celebrities. Even when I moved to Hollywood, I made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t get caught up in “star stalking.” Hell, they’re just normal people, right? I mean, sure there’s a certain neatness to being able to tell your friends that you passed (insert random famous person here) on the street, I guess, but it’s not something to get worked up over. Now getting up on stage and a guitar solo alongside Kirk Hammett...that’s cool. Talking about your favorite movie endings over breakfast with Johnny Depp...that’s very cool. But to just see somebody that you could have just as easily seen on your television? I never thought of that as the end all/be all of life’s happenings.


Hey, wait, is that...is that the guy from that movie? Sweet!

And yet, when it came Oscar Night guess who was standing 50 feet from the Red Carpet entrance, using the zoom lens on his camera for all of its might...



Though we didn't get as many glimpses from as close as we wanted to (or as many pictures as my low-pixel camera should have), it was still neat to see the whole spectacle happen. Howling fans, paparazzi climbing trees to get better views, giant gold Oscar statues. Awesome.

So no more messing around with these "almost famous" or "kind of known" bastards. It's time for the real deal. Adding to the list of fame-ridden faces are:

• Brad Pitt
• Angelina Jolie
• Diane Lane
• Meryl Streep
• Josh Brolin
• Anne Hathaway
• Anthony Hopkins
• Mickey Rourke
• Cate Blanchett
• Emile Hirsch

A lot of limousines passed by with the tinted windows rolled up, so we may have been a few yards away from the likes of Robert Downey Jr. and Halle Berry without realizing it, but so be it. Most of the people in the list above at least had the decency to roll down the window and wave; even Meryl Streep! And she's been to like 30 of these things. I applaud them all a great deal for that decency.


Anne "motherf'ing" Hathaway


Hannibal "motherf'ing" Lector.

The night would have been much better had I been nominated for my breathtaking role in "Guy Sits On Couch and Types Stuff," but whatever. There's always next year.


This Entry In Song:
Alien Ant Farm - "Movies"
Foo Fighters - "Stacked Actors"

Be Back Soon,
Shaky Jake