Organic Schmorganic.

"You're coming off kind of contrived and pretentious.
You're not saying anything we haven't heard before."
- Against Me!, "Don't Lose Touch"

There are two things that I am unable to deal with in this world: pomposity and pretentiousness. And God help the person who displays both with equal aplomb, because my wrath is far-sighted and narrow-minded. The people who fall into these categories include "indie" foreign film devotees, Whole Foods proprietors, most Saab owners, and anyone who thinks that a band's b-sides are superior to anything they put on an actual record. Also, people who constantly misuse the word "organic." Allow me to focus in on this last breed for the remainder of this rant.

Organic can be used to define food, chemistry, and the French law known as Organic Articles. Aside from that, it's not to be used. So the next time that I hear some hipster doofus on a behind-the-scenes film commentary refer to the production process as "being so organic," I'm taking a knife and going straight through the TV screen. I hear this all the time and it genuinely makes me vomit in my mouth. It wouldn't be quite as bad if I didn't hear the word being tossed around like a hot potato during an Irish famine, but the fact that every actor, director, writer, producer, third lighting backdrop engineer, and whoever else feels the need to drop this already trite line every time someone asks them a simple question about their movie...well, it makes me hate cinema just a little bit more each time.

The following phrases involving the word are to be abandoned immediately: "the idea came out of me so organically...", "it was really organic how it was filmed...", "the actors meshed together in a very organic way...", and worst of all, "the verbiage in that scene grew organically out of conversations from my own life."

Fuck you all, destroyers of the English language. Douches of the cinematic world. Stop organic-isming at the sound of your own pretentious schlock. This type of speak does NOT make you an intellectual, nor does it make anyone any more impressed with your uncanny ability to direct a shirtless Matthew McConaughey on how to elongate his syllables. So please, find a new phrase to demean with your hypocrisy and arrogance.

Pompous pricks.


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Foo Fighters - "Wind Up"

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Shaky Jake